Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Randomize
