i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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