Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
