he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
