I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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