i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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