i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
