i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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