whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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