He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
