Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
