We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
