I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
