If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
