i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Randomize
