do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
