Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
