I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
