But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
