You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
