no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
