He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
