I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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