was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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