Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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