New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
