My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
