is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
