My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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