I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
