Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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