what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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