wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
