so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
