My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
