morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
