we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
