so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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