Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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