haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
