Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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