I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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