i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
