I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
