I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
