we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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