I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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