I puked a lego.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Randomize
