If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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