and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I love you. Go after that dick
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
